30 Years…how many more???

Where does time go?  What happens to all of those we’ve known over the years that disappear?  What happens to ourselves when bits and pieces of the personalities we’ve had start to disappear? 

What happens when one day you just start to realize that so much of your life has been unnoticed by those you’re close to, and even worse… forgotten by you?  How can someone who has accomplished so much in life, have accomplished not a single thing in personal relations.  How can things you do every single day of your life for some years just drop out of your mind like all of the friends and loved ones that have disappeared like the leave in the Fall?  Why do you fall into a pit of hopelessness, and into a realm of contentment and bliss the next?

These are a lot of the thoughts that have come to mind lately.  As some of you know I just had my 30^th birthday and built my first house.  It seems like to get to those two milestones that I had to give up something.  I just go back and look at the last 30 years so much and try to understand where I sold my soul and what did I give it up for.  How do I get it back?  How do I return to the person that someone can fall in love with, can enjoy their company, and enjoy me for me? 

I think in my mind I’ve written it off so many times saying someone else is the one with the problem with me and not me causing the issue.  But when you start to take stock of what you’ve accomplished in life and realize all you’ve got is a ton of material goods what value does it hold when you’ve got a completely empty heart.  Worse yet, what if you know you can probably better yourself by changing some things about you yet your mind won’t let it happen.  One minute the depression worsens and becomes apparent, and then the next it’s a lack of even remembering how bad you felt to have written words like these. 

Is it the mind or the heart that drives you running away from the ones you do love and want to be with yet unable to say what’s on your mind to the ones who don’t interest you?  And whichever it is, shouldn’t it kick into preservation mode at some point and make you settle for something that’s good for you, and can help fill that empty heart?  At what point do you just admit defeat and agree that you’re broken beyond repair? 

There are two events in my life that I look back on and desperately wish for second chances on.  Both of them involve women.  The first did some horrible things that I have blamed her for, for many years now.  But looking at things with an empty heart and a clear head… was it not me that let it happen?  That didn’t want to discuss it instead of just walking away when things got so bad?  With that logic…isn’t the way things went really my fault after all?  The second was absolutely everything I could ask for in someone.  She was the first girls I’d EVER fallen in love with who was small, shaped beautiful, and amazingly attractive.  But one day, I felt annoyed and needed some space, maybe even just for a few hours or days at worst.  Yet, my empty broken heart took over once more, and dug a deeper hole in what began as a shallow grave. 

Both of these women, I’d literally agree to an early demise for just a couple enjoyable years with them.  Yet one is happily married, and the other is still mad enough at me she hasn’t talked to me since the day that I pulled away.  Giving my life away for some quality time with either of them seems to be a cheap price to pay compared to the one I’ve paid somewhere along the path.  For once your soul is gone, can it ever be found again?

Segufix Restraint System – Original Post 3/12/08

Last night, for the first time ever I got to experience the magic feeling that is the Segufix restraint system.  For those of us with an interest in bondage and restraint, especially coupled with the medical world, this setup is no stranger to you.  For those that don’t know, Segufix is a “humane” type of medical restraint.  It is a setup for when simple 4-point restraints will just not be secure enough.  It consists of cloth covered, heavy nylon straps that latch together by means of a magnetic key.  The beauty of this system is that is can be mated perfectly to beds, gurneys, procedure tables, etc…
I was able to try the full system while it was attached to an old style hospital gurney.   While the gurney itself did not have much room to be able to fully move around and test the limits of the straps, I feel it was still an exceptional test and I couldn’t have been more pleased with the range of movement that was available to move me from a lying position to a sitting position just be raising the head of the gurney.
TO begin the procedure of restraining me we started with the waist strap.  This one is the biggest, and probably most used portion of the whole system.  On me it came right around my waist covering up a good portion of my abdomen.  With the abdomen strap are two smaller ones that come up underneath and over the shoulder and connect in the center of the waist belt.  This secures my upper body to the middle of the bed…at this point I can still sit up at will.
The next to be applied were the thigh cuffs.  These were placed midway on my thigh pulling my legs ever so slightly to the outside edge of the gurney.  Ankle restraints were next.  These cuffs fit in a way that just felt “secure” for lack of a better word.  These brought my ankles out towards the end of the gurney, but my ankles were slightly inward to allow me to keep a slight bend in the knees for comfort.
Next came wrist, and upper arm restraints.  The wrists I had no problem with, but the upper arms took so much leverage away from the body that it was essentially impossible to use much strength to pull against the straps.  Finally, the straps running over my shoulder were buttoned to straps attaching to the head of the bed, effectively rendering me flat on my back.  The rails on the gurney were raised and I was left several moments by myself to settle in.
Once 10-15 minutes had gone by my friends came back into the room and no you horn dogs…not to play.  We were trying to discuss the whole ordeal and talk about the thoughts of using this as a true long-term restraint setup.
Friday night, I will be taking the plunge and signing myself into the care of these two, will have orders (until I beg to be let out) to try and help me through staying a whole night.
I have attached a photo of a Segufix in use for those of you who haven’t seen it…..

-Dr Fetish

The way I see things…

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida …

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It’s a win-win situation

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ? Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2..The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq …. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthou se is this:
You cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians…It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending
someone– YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up !

Yep, I passed it on!

People Who Piss Me Off

People Who Piss Me Off…

My rant for today is people who piss me off.  And, I’ve got them broken down into a few categories here that I am sure a lot of you can recognize and appreciate.
1. People who piss me off by adding me to their buddy list and then NEVER talk – If you are the one who requests that I add you then SAY SOMETHING.  Even if it’s just once.
2. People who piss me off by not responding to messages – If we’re on each other’s buddy lists, and you NEVER respond even when I try to give the friendly “hello” then take me off your list.  And, while you’re at it be human enough to at least say you’re not interested in talking any more.
3. People who piss me off by lying through their teeth – OK, so we’ve all said something on here that wasn’t true before.  But when its a story soooooo obviously out of whack that it doesn’t even remotely sound true then don’t get offended when I keep asking you questions to make yourself trip up.  And when I do catch you…at least admit defeat instead of crying and running to the next innocent person.
4. People that piss me off by using someone else’s photo – Hate to tell ya people…there’s a LOT of information that can get recorded in a simple picture file.  WHen ya tell me that you’re showing me a photo that was just taken, and I look and it’s from 1996, well umm yeah..sorry.  I think I’ve said enough on that one.

So ok people, we’re human beings out there and some of us, hell a lot of us are just downright horrible people.  The sad thing is most of the people who DON’T read this are probably the ones that would get offended if they did.  And to those of you that DO read this, I’m guessing you’re the ones I talk to on a regular basis anyway.
Ok, that’s it…my rant for the day.